From the heart of the Mumwe Heart of God Foundation, here in the vibrant communities of Ntungamo District, we see the future every day in the bright eyes of our children. They are our greatest blessing and our most profound responsibility. As parents, teachers, and caregivers, we all share a common desire: to raise children who are respectful, responsible, and successful. But a crucial question often arises in our homes and schools: How do we guide them there?

For generations, many of us were raised with the understanding that discipline meant punishment and the saying, “Spare the rod, spoil the child,” was a familiar refrain. Methods like caning, harsh yelling, or public shaming were seen as necessary tools to ensure obedience while the intention was to mold good behaviour, the outcome was often a child motivated not by understanding, but by fear. A child who is afraid of the cane may learn to hide their mistakes, not to avoid making them but they may learn to lie to avoid punishment, damaging the very trust we seek to build.

This is where positive discipline offers a transformative path, one that aligns deeply with our values of community, love, and faith. Positive discipline is not about being permissive or letting children “get away with” poor behaviour but it is about being both kind and firm it’s a shift from punishing a child for their past mistakes to teaching them skills for their future. It is about guiding our children, much like a shepherd guides his sheep with a steady hand and a loving heart, not with a whip of fear.

The true goal of discipline is to teach accountability. Accountability is not just about admitting when you are wrong, it’s understanding the impact of your actions and taking steps to make things right. Fear cannot teach this but only connection and guidance can.

So, how can we practice Positive Discipline here in our Ntungamo homes?

Focus on Solutions, Not Blame

Imagine your son, Twesigye accidentally breaks a neighbour’s water pot while playing. A fear-based response would be to beat him for his carelessness. A Positive Discipline approach is different. First, ensure everyone is safe and calm then, sit with Twesigye and say, “The water pot is broken and this is a problem so what can we do to solve it?” By involving him in the solution perhaps by helping him save his shillings to contribute to a new pot or by apologizing to the neighbour he learns that his actions have consequences and that he has the power to repair them thus he learns accountability.

Use Natural and Logical Consequences

A natural consequence is what happens without our intervention for example if a child refuses to wear a sweater on a cool morning, they will feel cold, a logical consequence is one we implement that is related to the behaviour. If a child forgets to take their homework to school, they must face the consequence from their teacher this happens to be more effective than taking away their privilege to play football, which is unrelated. These consequences teach children that their choices directly affect their lives hence building an internal sense of responsibility.

Make Amends, Don’t Just Punish

When a child’s actions hurt someone, the focus should be on healing. If your daughter, Brenda says something unkind to her brother, instead of sending her to her room, guide her. “I see your brother is very sad. Your words hurt him. What can we do to help him feel better?” Perhaps she can draw him a picture, give him a hug, or say a sincere “I’m sorry.” This teaches empathy and restores the relationship, which is the foundation of a strong family and community.

As a foundation rooted in God’s love, we believe this approach mirrors the grace our Father shows us. He does not condemn us in our mistakes but lovingly guides us back to the right path. Proverbs 22:6 tells us to “Train up a child in the way he should go.” Training is an active, patient, and loving process it is basically about building a relationship so strong that our children want to follow our guidance.

Let us work together in Ntungamo to move from a culture of fear to a culture of connection by raising a generation of children who are not just obedient out of fear, but are accountable out of love and understanding. This is the investment that will strengthen our families, our communities, and the future of our beloved nation reach us for your contributions and support via our [email protected] or call +256700135510. Your support is highly welcome.